Alternative Weddings and Self-Doubt: Is It Possible to Have a Truly Non-Traditional Wedding?

Do you ever feel that you need to provide a precedent for every decision you make while planning your non-traditional wedding? Even though my wife and I were determined to have an alternative wedding that fit our ethics, we often found ourselves searching for somebody—anybody!—who had already put our plan into action. Maybe you want to use donunts instead of a wedding cake, but then you worry… can it be done? Once you’ve discovered that someone else has already done it, you feel relieved.

Why is this? Shouldn’t a non-traditional wedding be all about doing your own thing? It turns out that the answer is complicated.

Wedding Cake Topper Ideas for an Ethical Wedding

If you've decided to go with a wedding cake for your nontraditional wedding, then you may also be thinking about unique wedding cake topper ideas. Below are some ideas to consider when choosing a wedding cake topper for your ethical wedding.

Choosing a Wedding Party for Your Ethical Wedding

As a couple decides upon the details of their ethical or nontraditional wedding, one of the most common questions they consider is who will be in the wedding party. Below are some ideas to consider when choosing (or not choosing) members of your wedding party.

Finding Alternative Wedding Venues: One Important Trick

In my last post, I discussed two common problems that self-proclaimed wedding venues can pose for a couple planning a non-traditional wedding. Here I provide what a few practical tips for finding the perfect alternative wedding venue based on our experience. This includes the most important secret to finding a non-traditional venue.

Finding Alternative Wedding Venues: 2 Common Problems with Traditional Venues

If you have been planning your wedding for even a short time, you know how discouraging it can be. If you’re planning an ethical or alternative wedding, the search can become even more complicated. Here's some advice on choosing an alternative wedding venue and two things to watch out for in most traditional venues.

10 Questions to Ask Yourself When Choosing a Wedding Venue for an Alternative or Nontraditional Wedding

The world is not a perfect place, and it won’t always be possible to find a perfect venue, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get close.  Below is a list of questions that may help as you research and visit venues for your ethical or alternative wedding.

Dealing with Resistance when You're Planning an Ethical Wedding or Non-traditional Wedding

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” - Judy Garland

Planning an ethical wedding or any kind of alternative wedding often means changing traditions that others are quite accustomed to. This means that you may meet some resistance from friends or relatives who think that you “can't do” whatever it is you want to do.

What Can I Say if I Meet Resistance to my Non-Traditional Wedding?

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss

How you deal with friends and relatives who object to an alternative wedding will have to be handled on a case-by-case basis. However, here are a few general principles that will help in most situations.

Choosing an Alternative Wedding Dress

What Is an Alternative Wedding Dress?

If you're planning an ethical wedding or any sort of alternative wedding, then you're probably thinking about alternative wedding dresses. For some, this may mean having a fair trade dress that was made without harming the environment, while for others this may mean foregoing the dress altogether and opting for some sexy cutoffs or a tuxedo. As always, it all depends on how the married couple to-be defines their ethics.

What is an “ethical wedding”?

If you search for “ethical wedding,” you’ll find that for most people the term is synonymous with a “green wedding,” “eco friendly wedding,” or otherwise environmentally conscious wedding. However, there is more to an ethical wedding than environmentalism.

Non-traditional weddings on a budget

Part of what an ethical wedding meant to us was a wedding that didn’t cost an arm and a leg. Many people now realize that there are ethics to being a consumer: we need to think about what we’re buying and where the money is going. Ideally, our wedding budget and expenses should reflect our personal ethics and values.

Ethical wedding planning for the whole couple: gender and shared responsibilities

You may have noticed that we refer to the "couple" and "he and she" when discussing wedding planning. In my experience, many wedding websites assume that only women are interested in and responsible for the wedding plans, and they are phrased accordingly. It doesn't have to be this way!

How to create your own ethical and non-traditional wedding

If you’re reading this blog, chances are that you are looking for ideas on how to plan your own independent, ethical, and non-traditional wedding. You are probably trying to create a wedding that reflects your values as a couple, rather than adopting a “normal” wedding that does not feel true to you.

You’ve come to the right place!